Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

Here's a good tip for when you go to the beach A sand dollar may look like a nice cracker that someone left, but trust me, they don't taste like it.

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Pope Pius XI

Justice requires that to lawfully constituted Authority there be given that respect and obedience which is its due that the laws which are made shall be in wise conformity with the common good and that, as a matter of conscience all men shall render obedience to these laws.

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Unknown

To err is human, to blame the next guy even more so.

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Helen Hayes

My mother drew a distinction between achievement and success. She said that 'achievement is the knowledge that you have studied and worked hard and done the best that is in you. Success is being praised by others, and that's nice, too, but not as important or satisfying. Always aim for achievement and forget about success.'

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Francis William Bourdillon

The Night has a thousand eyes, And the Day but one;
Yet the light of the bright world dies
With the dying sun.
The mind has a thousand eyes,
And the heart but one;
Yet the light of a whole life dies
When love is done.

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Henry Kissinger

University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.

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Shirley Chisholm

The emotional, sexual, and psychological stereotyping of females begins when the doctor says 'It's a girl.'

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John Fitzgerald Kennedy

History is a relentless master. It has no present, only the past rushing into the future. To try to hold fast is to be swept aside.

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Theodore Roosevelt

Nine-tenths of wisdom consists in being wise in time.

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William James

Most people live, whether physically, intellectually or morally, in a very restricted circle of their potential being. They make use of a very small portion of their possible consciousness, and of their soul's resources in general, much like a man who, out of his whole bodily organism, should get into a habit of using and moving only his lttle finger. Great emergencies and crises show us how much greater our vital resources are than we had supposed.

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Bernard Baruch

Don't try to buy at the bottom and sell at the top. It can't be done except by liars.

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Samuel Ullman

Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.

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