Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

I think a new, different kind of bowling should be 'carpet bowling.' It's just like regular bowling, only the lanes are carpet instead of wood. I don't know why we should do this, but my God, we've got to try something

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Henri-Frederic Amiel

Woman is the salvation or the destruction of the family. She carries its destiny in the folds of her mantle.

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E. F. Schumacher

Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius -- and a lot of courage -- to move in the opposite direction.

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Louis L\'Amour

He might never really do what he said, but at least he had it in mind. He had somewhere to go.

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Richard Dawkins

Nature is not cruel, pitilessly, indifferent. This is one of the hardest lessons for humans to learn. We cannot admit that things might be neither good nor evil, neither cruel nor kind, but simply callous -- indifferent to all suffering, lacking all purpose.

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Oscar Levant

The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.

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Leon Battista Alberti

A man can do all things if he but wills them.

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Vernon Howard

You have succeeded in life when all you really want is only what you really need.

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George

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.

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Saville

Women have more strengths in their looks than we have in our laws, and more power in their tears than we have by our arguments.

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