Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

If you want to be the popular one at a party, here's a good thing to do Go up to some people who are talking and laughing and say, 'Well, technically that's illegal.' It might fit in with what somebody just said. And even if it doesn't, so what, I hate this stupid party.

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Epictetus

There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.

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Friedrich von Schiller

It does not prove a thing to be right because the majority say it is so.

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Dr. Karl Menninger

Generous people are rarely mentally ill.

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Unknown

Everything you do or say is public relations.

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Barbara Johnson

Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved.

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Carl Sagan

Personally, I would be delighted if there were a life after death, especially if it permitted me to continue to learn about this world and others, if it gave me a chance to discover how history turns out.

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Luther Standing Bear

Civilization has been thrust upon me... and it has not added one whit to my love for truth, honesty, and generosity.

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Oliver Wendell Holmes

I find the great thing in this world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving.

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Dan Quayle

I stand by all the misstatements that I've made.

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Arsenio Hall

I don't possess a lot of self-confidence. I'm an actor so I simply act confident every time I hit the stage. I am consumed with the fear of failing. Reaching deep down and finding confidence has made all my dreams come true.

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