Bill Vaughan

A three-year-old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm.

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Bette Midler

If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to?

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Sir Thomas Brown

It is a brave act of valor to condemn death, but where life is more terrible than death it is then the truest valor to dare to live.

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Buddy Hackett

Ya know, if you treated every comic the way you treated me tonight. You would never see a bad show.

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Herbert Gardner

Once you get people laughing, they're listening and you can tell them almost anything.

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Ingrid Bergman

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.

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Kingsley Amis, One Fat Englishman (1963)

Outside every fat man there was an even fatter man trying to close in.

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Jean-Paul Sartre

When the rich wage war it's the poor who die.

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Woodrow Wilson

Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up by itself.

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Arnold Bennett

Falsehood often lurks upon the tongue of him, who, by self-praise, seeks to enhance his value in the eyes of others.

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Shelley Winters

I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful and damaging to all things American. But if I were 22 with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful, patriotic and a progressive religious experience.

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George Herbert

Love and a cough cannot be hid.

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